I had admitted in a previous post Professional Single that I have been single for many years now and it has its good and down sides of course. And in another post True Love Killed By Dating Apps I tried to explain why it was so challanging to commit nowadays.
However, there is another very crucial reason, why one can chose to be single or why relationships end before even starting properly. People are having 3 months or 6 month “relationships” and then reality hits and they start seeing that this relationship is not what they hoped it would turn out to be.
Talking to our grandparents and hearing about their love stories and them having been married for more than 50 years is making us realise that there is something going wrong nowadays.
And no, I am not talking about that one should stay in a toxic relationship only for the sake of relationships.
What I mean is, we lost a sense for love, care and passion. There is no romance anymore, and everything else is more important than the partner. Why is that?
I blame it on wrong prioritization in our stressful lives and social media.
The alarm clock goes off, it is still dark outside. We take a shower, get ready and rush to work but do not forget to check our notifications (facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter and so on). We start working. Sometimes around lunch time we remember that we have a partner and send her or him a message with “Hey love, how are you doing? Miss you”. But often it takes longer, as the lunch break is only 30 minutes and we need to eat, socialize and post things or read things on social media. After work around 5pm we send a message, ask how he or she is doing, how her or his day was. A few times a week we see our partner, make out, talk about banal topics with no depth.
Relationships lack direction. It is not “I have a partner” anymore, it is more ” We date”. But what does that mean? Hanging out a few times a month, texting every day short messages, kissing here and there? Is that what we expect a healthy relationship to be?
We lack communication, we do not tell each other how much we love the partners. We do not show what the other person means to us, and this is being accepted by most people, play hard to get and do not be vulnerable. Nowadays we are accepting too many things like texting while dining, arguing over whatsapp, publishing every minute of our intimate lives on social media.
Why do we have to beg for his or her attention? Why is it so hard to tell her she is beautiful, call her spontaneously and tell her you will pick her up for a surprise in 30 minutes, and just make an effort.
The days of only holding hands, taking her out just because you can, sending someone flowers the old fashioned way with a card with nice words on it, are over. We do not focus on each other, we take each other for granted and are distracted by professional life and social media.
Being romantic (giving one another time and attention) is labled as cheesy. But it is so wrong. Every woman even the ones who play cool would love to have a man who knows how to spoil a woman and shows how much she means to him with small gestures.
So, I am asking women to be less cold and do not push away the few romantic guys that exist. And guys do not be afraid to show your feelings, make lovely gestures and be caring. Being an exception between all the ignorant or indifferent people will make you shine.